[in]complete #4: Not as Advertised

I must first apologise to my Stanza people for a lack of prompts this week [*], but the last five days has put an undeniable strain on my ability to manage change. Contrary to what some people may tell you, every social interaction has a potential mental cost. This has been the best week professionally since probably the mid-1990’s. That meant yesterday needing to go and decompress with the youngest, which was much-needed.

Thursday then involved another meeting, and for the first time in nearly 30 years there was an undeniable sense I was in the right place, doing the right thing in a artistic setting. The feeling of satisfaction walking back to my car afterwards was exactly the same as the day I decided it was no longer the right thing to develop my gaming journalism into a career. We are undergoing a direction change.

These are those Interesting Times that proverb warned me about.

Except, if I’m honest, it isn’t a change. This is an acceptance of a part of me that’s been silenced for a very long time. It’s a portion I was told to shut up about, that would get me into trouble, that would prevent my progress as a creative. It’s the part of me who told the truth to a prominent male Warcraft streamer in a virtual waiting room before a Podcast after which he preceded to have a meltdown, informing me I’d never get invited anywhere else again.

I did, of course, and he’s still doing his thing in much the same way. Having discovered true freedom by not giving a fuck, I remain much capable of still caring deeply, passionately and totally about what I do. Increasingly, it’s the opinions of people who don’t get the point of existence that is the bigger issue. There are ways and means now to not only address that, but to respond in my own, unique way.

So, that's exactly what we are now going to do.

I need a haircut, which is happening next week. This cardigan was bought yesterday and I expect to wear it as comfort clothing until the end of its life. The t-shirt is my commitment as a Green Party member to push for the big wins but never ignore the state of my world. Politics is about to become an intractable part of my life for the next two years. It had to happen eventually.

It's helpful now to be on the outside looking in. In fact, that will end up as my greatest superpower going forward.

[*] In great news however, our original venue, which has changed ownership in the last six weeks, is still willing to accommodate our requirements, so that's one less job I need to sort out this weekend... :D