Letters to Myself #5

Mental Health Awareness Week begins on May 11th.

I've done a lot of things to raise mental health profiles during this period over the last few years, but the one thing I've never been capable of achieving is an honest prose-based description of what my personal mental health issues entail. This week we are going to attempt to do just that.

I will refer at various points to childhood trauma, suicidal thoughts, depression and anxiety. Please consider your own needs and act accordingly.

I had such great plans for this, I really did, and tomorrow I will have time to finish the post I started yesterday and give it the attention it deserves. Now, I am TIRED.

So, to remind myself that this week has been my your average MHAW?

I made myself a list.

Ten Things that have altered
my Life
over the last seven days

1. Someone is going to create physical art based on a piece of poetry I wrote.
   [This was yesterday]
2. Someone has asked me to help them place poetry inside their physical art.
   [This was today]
3. Someone wrote a poem that was a direct reflection of my current mindset.
   [This was 'earlier this week' I cannot now remember when ^^]
4. Someone shared with me a poem that is now altering my own process.
   [That was DEFINITELY Tuesday]
5. I wrote a poem as a result that has crystallised a new poetry direction.
   [That was this morning]
6. I allowed myself to accept a loss I have never told anyone about.
   [Monday. Absolutely.]
7. I accepted when challenged that I am still not comfortable in my body.
   [Today and it was HARD]
8. I put a limit on the amount of work I will now accept for the rest of this year.
   [About an hour ago]
9. Accepting that anything is possible if my heart wants it enough.
   [Going forward]
10. Embracing that sometimes, falling off the World can be beneficial.
    [Any time in the rest of the time I have on this planet]

... and now, if I do not get to bed after walking the dog, I will end up asleep at the keyboard.